Step One: Turn on your TV/MLB.tv stream (unless you gots teh blackouts* hurr)/YE OLDE TIME RADIO
Step Two: Determine whether Bochy is wearing sunglasses on an overcast day/evening
Step Two-B: If yes, put on sunglasses yourself. Even if you’re inside. Especially if you’re inside. If no, put on your Rowand jersey (we all have them).
Step Three: Watch the game until the first run is scored.
Step Three-B: If the run is scored by the Giants, go to Step Four. If the run is scored by the opposition, skip to Step Seven.
Step Four: Watch the next half-inning. If the Giants’ starting pitcher is still in the game, proceed to Step Five. If a reliever is in the game, and they do not have a shutdown inning, skip to Step Seven. If a reliever is in the game, and they do have a shutdown inning, the world has exploded but proceed to Step Five.
Step Five: Wait for obligatory “pitching meltdown” which consists of any amount of runs conceded over zero. All it takes is one. Now skip to Step Seven.
Step Six: What, the Giants didn’t give up the lead or give up a single run that costs them the game?
*This always bugs the shit out of me. If I am on a paid subscription to your services, frankly I don’t give a damn about your licensing agreement that puts MORE cash in your pocket to not let me watch what would be considered “local broadcast” territory, MLB. Double dipping is frowned upon.