Mr. Ribeyez (MP3)

17 May

Oh, God. I’m scared.

A few days ago I wrote the lyrics to Mr. Ribeyez, a take on The Killers’ song “Mr. Brightside” that pays homage to the man, the myth, the legend…. Brett Pill.

You can listen to the song in the embedded player, but you can also download the MP3 using the link below the player, which I recommend since I’ll probably get sued for this shit.

Also, here are the lyrics:

Raking in AAA
PCL was all mine
Gotta gotta get hits
Ribeyez I want em all

Belt can’t hit lefties for shit
He is a swing and a miss
Can’t hit lefties for shit
Can’t hit lefties for shit

Used to play second base
Bochy put me at first
Journey songs are the shit
I could hear them all night

I got runners on base
Flannery gives the sign
Got a shit-eating grin

And he’s throwing the pitch now
I lift up my leg now
Bloggers moan

I got a hit, it’s heading
Into right field

Melky, rounding third and Posey
Looks right at Tim Flannery
Waving his arm windmill style

Your savior offensively
I can’t spell ostensibly
I drive in the on base guys
Cause I’m Mr. Ribeyez

Freddy Sanchez is hurt
Holes in Sandoval’s hand
Gotta bench the giraffe
His swing is terrible

Call me Pilly the Kid
Giants bloggers hate this
In the lineup I’m fifth
In the lineup I’m fifth

GiantsPod tweeted me
Asked if I would come on
To his shitty podcast
I laughed a lot he was mad

Lefty starting tonight
Better put on the shift
And you’re getting on base

But I’m driving the runs in
Brandon Crawford scores on
Errant throw

I’m three for three
And I’m feeling
Like four for four

Melky, rounding third and Posey
Looks right at Tim Flannery
Waving his arm windmill style

Your savior offensively
I can’t spell ostensibly
I drive in the on base guys
Cause I’m Mr. Ribeyez

RBI
RBI

Zito Gets Gangster After The Arias Bunt (GIF)

14 May

Presented without comment, by request.

 

Degenerate Dish 5/10/12: Moneyline Round Robins

10 May

Yesterday was all about the 1st 5 Innings wagers, to the tune of the following result:

Today there are some pretty nice moneyline angles. I’m not a huge fan of taking moneyline wagers straight-up that aren’t under (-150) or so, and today we’re presented with a couple opportunities to cut the price by utilizing a round robin wager.

Washington (-170) at Pittsburgh +150

Strasburg takes on Correia as the Nats visit the Pirates, with the current chalk on the Nats at (-170) at the time of post. The season is still young, but the Nats have won just a shave under 2/3 of their games where the runline is set at 7 or lower (14-8) and the Pirates are the relative opposite at a 1/3 clip (4-11). That is to say, when there is at least one starter expected to prove stingy with runs allowed (and let’s be honest, that’s rarely the Pirates’ starter) the Pirates rather predictably don’t fare well.

The Pirates have averaged 2.4 runs scored at home this year while allowing a respectable 3.0 runs per game. Additionally, the Nats have stifled opponents’ bats to the tune of 2.6 runs allowed per game on the road, so any sort of offensive production on Washington’s part should give Stras the all-meaningful 6th win of the season (I kid).

Toronto (-150) at Minnesota +130

Let me begin by saying that Jason Marquis is garbage. He is a perfect 4-0 in leading the Twins to hitting the over across his four starts this season, and somehow walked six Mariners in his last start just as a rather insignificantly fun fact. Henderson Alvarez blanked the Angels (in CA) in a complete game his last outing, and gave up two runs over 7 IP in his other road start at Baltimore.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that both LAA and BAL are on a very different level over the last few weeks than the Twins, who have been home underdogs for 8 of their 13 games at Target Field. Three of the Twins’ eight wins this season, however, have come after a rest day. So there is that. But you can’t ignore the 5.8 runs allowed per game at Target Field, and you can’t ignore the 1.9 runs scored per game over the last seven games, either.

I could go on and on about how mismatched this game is, but after all this is baseball and Josh Willingham might go 4-4 and hit 6 home runs while explicitly defying the rules of baseball, so who knows.

Tampa Bay +135 at New York (-155)

This one is a gamble, but not a bad one. For starters, you’re getting David Price as a freaking underdog. Oh, and there’s the fact that Tampa Bay has been one of the three best teams in baseball out the gates as well.

Both starters today are great, to the tune of a collective 9-1 record for their teams when they’ve started in 2012.

Both teams average out above their overall runs scored per game when facing lefties, with Tampa Bay scoring 4.8 per game (4.5 overall average) and New York scoring 5.7 per game (5.0 overall average).

Here’s where it gets dicey for this pick.

Price has averaged 5 IP per road start, and has given up 41% of his ER over the 28% of his overall IP that he tabulated on the road. However, he held Texas to 2 ER over 6 1/3 IP at the end of April which we know is quite a feat. It’s not like he isn’t used to facing dominant teams and producing a top tier performance.

Furthermore, the Tampa Bay bullpen is super shaky. I love their trash heap mentality and all that, but  on the road they’ve allowed 33 ER in 35 1/3 IP and sport a fancy 1.925 WHIP. An 8.41 ERA is something Boston relievers might be happy with right now, but it’s far from encouraging.

Then again, this is gambling. I’m gambling on David Price going seven innings and allowing less than four runs, which should give the Rays ample opportunity to win a ballgame in New York.

Final Wager

5/9/12 Degenerate Dish: Wagers

9 May

Today is all about the starting pitcher implosion. Today is all about the 1st 5 Innings wagers.

What I tend to love about the 1st 5 Inning wagers are that you are either banking on a duel or an implosion, plain and simple. You have to be looking at an angle that either one or both pitchers will exceed or fail to live up to expectations of both the team and Vegas odds. Today there are a few matchups, all of which I feel like accentuate the negative, worthy of attention.

On the road, the Rangers are scoring 6.6 runs per game this season. Over the past seven games, the Rangers are scoring 6.6 runs per game. Against lefties this season, they are scoring 7.1 runs per game. The Orioles are averaging 4.1 runs per game at home this season. Considering the youth of the Orioles’ starter, and that Colby Lewis is either spot-on or garbage, definitely worthy of the even money wager for the 1st 5 Innings over 5 runs wager.

The Red Sox are scoring 6.9 runs per game against lefties this season. The lefty tonight is Bruce Chen. Bruce Chen, people. The Royals are allowing 6.2 runs per game at home, while scoring 4.1 runs per game over their last seven. I actually like Lester on the road, but I’m a big fan of Kansas City’s lineup and I feel like they can explode on any given night. Their talent speaks for itself, when it all lines up. Asking for the over on 4.5 runs over the 1st 5 is very doable between these two clubs, especially at +105 odds.

Last but not least, we have the Giants and Dodgers with the 1st 5 Innings runline set at 3.5 — something I feel like one team will accomplish independently. I honestly have no idea which, but I’m leaning towards LA. Giving me +105 odds on the over at 3.5 is pretty generous, if you ask me.

Post-Game Reaction: 5-8-12 SF @ LAD

9 May

No stats, just thoughts tonight. I know what most of us were thinking going into this game, regardless of the outcome we desired.

Goddamn Clayton Kershaw. Goddamn Kershaw and his ridiculous repertoire of pitches and frustratingly god-like command. Watching him pitch makes you simultaneously ill and awestruck as a baseball fan. I liken it to watching A-Gonz when he was still with the Padres — especially to see that man hit like that against NL West pitching, spending half his time in Petco. You’re nice, in fact a little too nice for my taste, so I really would like you to leave now.

And yet, that’s exactly what the Dodgers felt as the game wore on with Vogelsong on the mound. I can’t be the only one that sensed at or around the 5th inning that, one way or another, we were in for a treat with this ballgame. It was fun baseball to watch. I was resigned to the fact that the Giants would either win or lose, and that it would be painfully close. I was more than okay with that. It had a late season feel, the kind of game that makes you hate anyone or anything that tries to tear you away from watching.

Unfortunately, I watched the second half of the game at work, so I experienced this to a slight degree. Luckily, I made use of the NextGen feature for once on MLB.tv and hey, it actually worked. But I digress.

There is always room to whine about the lineup order, who gets the start, what seemingly ridiculous platoon is being utilized or what book exactly Bochy is using and whether it is written in some gibberish Wotusian language or not. That’s cool. But then the game starts, the game gets going and we can enjoy baseball. I enjoyed baseball tonight.

I enjoyed noticing my knee shake uncontrollably while Lopez warmed up next to Romo, and I not-so-silently cursed as he came in. I was terrified of what we were going to see with the bases juiced. I had a Michael J. Fox seizure when he got that grounder and I felt just as alive and involved as Vogelsong did. Hell, I wanted to high five him too.

God, I love baseball.

Illinois High School Pitcher Hits Bird, Randy Johnson Rejoices

2 May

Yeah, this speaks for itself.

 

Cobcast 2012 Ep. 3 (Guest @Brandon_Warne)

19 Apr

And shortly thereafter, we have Part Deux in the Week of Worn/Warne.

This was a very special Cobcast, in that it was the first one recorded in person. Brandon Warne was nice enough to invite me over to his place to eat some tasty grub, drink a few beers (one of which he later referred to as the “backdoor slider” for how it snuck up on him), watch the Twins game and record. We talked almost entirely about the Twins, and in a shocking turn of events I nearly held my own. If not for pesky work getting in the way, we’re pretty sure we could have gone another five hours.

As was the case 5 minutes ago, feel free to download using the link below, use the embedded player to stream, or wait a bit and find it on iTunes.

Cobcast 2012 Ep. 2 (Guest @WalkoffWoodward)

19 Apr

Welcome to the Week of Worn/Warne.

I sat down with Josh Worn of Walkoff Woodward, helmsman of the Detroit Tigers ESPN Sweet Spot blog, to discuss all things Tigers. Because if there’s anything Giants fans want to hear, it’s a long podcast about the Tigers. We also talked about baseball as a whole, so there is a personal guarantee you will find at least 30 seconds of relevant material. I swear, by the moon and the stars in the sky.

You can download using the link below, stream using the player below, or wait a few hours and find it on iTunes in the regular spot.

When Belt Makes The Lineup: A Benitez Observation (GIF)

17 Apr

This is how my twitter timeline looks to me when the news hits that Belt is in the starting lineup.

Oh the Place You’ll Go, And the People You’ll Meet (At Minor League Games)

13 Apr

One of the draws of going to minor league baseball games is the campy and ridiculous things teams will do to draw people to games. Take the Richmond Flying Squirrels for example (the AA-Affiliate of the Giants). Some of their promotions at The Diamond this year include; Alpaca Appreciation Night, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka appearance, a tribute to sausage, and midget wrestling.

The other fun part about going to minor league games is the people you will run into. Unlike major league  games where the crazies can fade into the crowd, it is much harder for them to hide in the crowds that would normally go to a minor league game.

Now Richmond’s official mascot is Nutzy. A rather demonic, heavily altered view of a Flying Squirrel.


(Photo from Ben’s Biz Blog)

But I want to introduce you to the unofficial official “Spirit Leader” that I ran into last night. We’ll just call him Nutzy(Too).

Here is Nutzy(Too) partaking of post-game fireworks after successfully leading the home team to victory (in his mind at least).

Tears are probably welling in his eyes at the thought of the concessions he will be able to partake of this year. It’s all about those bold flavors, you guys.

The fireworks so aptly portray the welling up of pride he is feeling.

The fireworks raining down beauty all over his domain. This is his home. His house. HE MUST PROTECT HIS HOUSE!

But what does he look like? What does he go to battle with? Well, have a gander…

From head to toe; that is Nutzy (seen above) turned into a gnome glued onto of a helmet emblazoned with “FLYING SQUIRRELS”. Red, white, and black plaid bat because you can not be the “spirit leader” without one, and certainly can not protect his house without it. The leather cut-off vest that hasn’t fit in probably 20 years with a red cape attached to the back for quick getaway. And yes, yes those are Zubaz in all their splendor.

I have now made it my personal goal to bring you, the reader of CoB, a one-on-one interview with this man. Oh, and go to a minor league game. They’re cheap and you never know, you might run into a person similar to this.